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- In AA, a sponsor is a member who has made some progress in recovery and shares that experience one-on-one, on an ongoing basis, with someone trying to get or stay sober.1
- A sponsor is not a therapist, lawyer, banker or social worker. NA describes a sponsor as another addict in recovery who is willing to share their journey through the Twelve Steps.2
- In a study of 253 people, having an AA sponsor during early AA involvement predicted greater abstinence from alcohol, marijuana and cocaine.3
- AA suggests looking for a sponsor with about a year or more of sobriety who seems to enjoy it, and says you are always free to change sponsors.1
- Red Rock's programming is 12-step based, and working the steps is guided by fellowship sponsors, never by treatment staff.
The benefits of having a sponsor in a 12-step program like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or Narcotics Anonymous (NA) start with one simple idea: you don’t have to work your recovery alone. A sponsor is a more experienced member who shares their own recovery with you one-on-one, helps you work the 12 Steps, and is someone to call when things get hard.
Below are ten benefits of sponsorship from my own experience, first published by AddictionLand, followed by what AA and NA literature say about sponsors, what the research shows, and how to find a sponsor.
Brothers Daniel and Shawn Henley, both in long-term recovery, on why they started Red Rock and what recovery has given them.
What is a sponsor in AA and NA?
In AA, sponsorship means that an alcoholic who has made some progress in the recovery program shares that experience on a continuous, individual basis with another alcoholic who is trying to get or stay sober1. Sponsor and sponsee meet as equals. AA traces sponsorship back to its founding, when co-founder Bill W. sought out another alcoholic, Dr. Bob, to stay sober himself1.
NA describes a sponsor as a member who is living the program and is willing to build a supportive, one-on-one relationship with a newer member. Most members think of a sponsor first as someone who helps them work the Twelve Steps2. As NA’s pamphlet puts it, sponsorship is simply one addict helping another.
10 benefits of having a sponsor
1. Share experience
In early recovery, many people are still uncertain about if they are truly an alcoholic or addict. A sponsor is key because their job is to ‘qualify’ you. While this sounds strange, qualifying is all about looking through your past and reviewing your drinking or using.
A sponsor will help you see how addiction has impacted your life and help you see your powerlessness over substances. Often times a sponsor will share some of their own past experience with addiction in order to help you relate and feel like you are not alone.
2. Share strength and hope
Sometimes we get depressed or down on ourselves, we feel weak or like failures. Sponsors are people who have been through the same types of feelings and can help you out of these moods. The sponsor has overcome their addiction and can provide hope that things will improve if we just don’t drink or use.
3. Lend a sympathetic ear
When things head south, the sponsor is there to hear our stories. Perhaps they comfort us or maybe they tell us to stop pitying ourselves. Sponsors can be a confidant, someone you can tell your deepest thoughts and feelings to without fear of judgment.
4. Hold you accountable
A good sponsor will notice if you start slacking off or isolating from others. They will remind you of the work that is required for long-term sobriety.
5. Provide sober resources
My first sponsor was great about providing me all sorts of resources for my sobriety: meeting recommendations, recovery literature, speaker tapes, his favorite prayers, and more. AA’s own guidance says a sponsor makes sure the newcomer knows about AA literature such as the Big Book and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions1.
6. Help you step outside your comfort zone
Sometimes we need a little friendly push to pursue things unfamiliar to us. Sponsors will nudge you to get a service position, volunteer, speak up in meetings, and many other helpful things that may be intimidating to a newcomer.
7. A source of motivation
We all need a little cheering on every now and then. Sponsors are great sources of motivation. A good sponsor will help keep you moving forward in your recovery.
8. Help you avoid the pitfalls of relapse
There are a handful of unofficial suggestions to keep new people from relapsing. Some include don’t get into a romance in early sobriety and don’t make any huge life changes (quitting a job or buying a house). A sponsor can help you see why certain ideas you may have would not benefit your recovery.
9. The chance to develop a lifelong friend
In many cases the relationship between a sponsor and sponsee develops into a strong friendship. My sponsor is almost 30 years older than me and a gay man; we could not be more different. However, our relationship has blossomed into a lifelong friendship I could have never anticipated.
10. Most importantly, help you work through the 12 Steps
The 12 Steps are the core of AA and NA, and they are designed to be worked with a sponsor. It is important that you pick a sponsor who has worked the 12 Steps and can help you along the way. A good sponsor provides guidance.
Sponsorship helps the sponsor too. AA says sharing experience with a newcomer reinforces the sponsor’s own sobriety, and NA’s literature says “we can only keep what we have by giving it away”1,2.
Original Article re-printed here with permission from AddictionLand.com
It's really important to me that people know that there's hope and that there's options for them, and that they're not doomed to a life of misery or boredom or mediocrity through sobriety.
Daniel HenleyCo-Founder, Chief Business Officer · Meet the Founders videoHow to get the most from a sponsor
A sponsor can only help as much as you let them. NA’s pamphlet suggests regular contact, whether by phone, at meetings or online if your sponsor lives far away. Whatever the format, be honest and listen with an open mind2. As one NA member put it, “it’s pretty hard to spot self deception…by yourself.”
You don’t have to agree with everything your sponsor says. AA encourages newcomers to ask questions when an idea sounds strange or unclear, because the relationship is meant to be open and free of judgment1.
If your sponsor can’t be reached, AA reminds members that it is the whole program, not one person, that keeps you sober: call another member, go to a meeting or pick up the literature1.
I've struggled a few times through the last couple years. Red Rock has been consistent and caring with my recovery. Plus the after-program care is top notch.
Recovery housingLakewood, COAscent sober living 4.7 (146 Google reviews)Men's and women's recovery homes for people in PHP, IOP or early recovery.
24/7 medical careMorrison, COMedical detox 4.7 (65 Google reviews) In network: Anthem, Cigna, Aetna, UnitedHealthcare, TRICAREMedically supervised withdrawal with nursing care around the clock, usually 7 to 10 days.
Live-in careMorrison, COResidential treatment 4.7 (65 Google reviews) In network: Anthem, Cigna, Aetna, UnitedHealthcare, TRICAREA structured, 12-step based program in the foothills, typically 2 to 4 weeks.
Day programLakewood, COPartial hospitalization (PHP) 4.7 (146 Google reviews) In network: Anthem, Cigna, Aetna, UnitedHealthcare, TRICAREAbout 30 hours of treatment a week over 5 days, going home or to sober living at night.
OutpatientLakewood, COIntensive outpatient (IOP) 4.7 (146 Google reviews) In network: Anthem, Cigna, Aetna, UnitedHealthcare, TRICARE9 to 12 hours a week of group and individual therapy that fits around work and family.
Live onlineAnywhere in ColoradoVirtual IOP 4.7 (146 Google reviews) In network: Anthem, Cigna, Aetna, UnitedHealthcare, TRICAREThe same IOP groups and therapists, live by video, for Colorado residents.What the research says about sponsorship
Research backs up what many members describe. In one study that followed 253 people who were new to AA or starting outpatient treatment, AA attendance predicted greater abstinence over the following year. Having a sponsor during early AA involvement predicted greater abstinence from alcohol, marijuana and cocaine, even after accounting for other factors such as motivation and treatment3.
More broadly, a Cochrane review found that manualized AA and twelve-step facilitation programs increased continuous abstinence more than other established treatments, such as cognitive behavioral therapy4. Sponsorship is one of the main ways people stay connected to that support.
How to find a sponsor
Getting a sponsor is usually as simple, and as scary, as asking. AA and NA literature suggest a few things to keep in mind1,2:
- Look at meetings. The best place to find a sponsor is at a meeting or fellowship event. Notice who seems to be living the program, not just talking about it.
- Look for time and stability. AA suggests a sponsor should probably be a year or more away from their last drink and seem to be enjoying sobriety.
- Consider gender. AA experience suggests men sponsor men and women sponsor women, while some gay men and lesbians feel an opposite-sex sponsor fits better. Avoid any sponsorship where romance could come up.
- Ask directly. Most members are happy to be asked. If someone says no, it's usually about their own time, not you, so ask someone else.
- Know you can change. You are always free to choose a sponsor you feel more comfortable with.
It’s never too late to get a sponsor. AA notes that even members with many years of sobriety often find that working with a sponsor helps the program open up in new ways1.
What a sponsor is not
A sponsor is a guide in the program, not a professional. NA’s pamphlet says a sponsor is not a legal advisor, a banker, a parent, a marriage counselor or a social worker, and not a therapist offering professional advice2.
AA’s guidance says the same. A sponsor doesn’t offer the services of counselors or the legal, medical or social work professions, but may help a sponsee reach professional help when it’s needed1. That’s why many people in recovery have both a sponsor and a treatment team.
If you're struggling with withdrawal, a mental health crisis or thoughts of self-harm, reach out for professional help. Call 911 in an emergency, or call or text 988 for a mental health crisis.
Anna talks about getting help at Red Rock and what life in recovery looks like now.
Sponsorship and treatment at Red Rock
Red Rock Recovery Center is a Colorado addiction treatment center with locations in Morrison and Lakewood. Our programming is 12-step based, with meetings nearly every day at all levels of care. Meetings are encouraged but not mandatory.
In keeping with AA’s tradition of non-affiliation, our staff don’t lead step work or act as sponsors. Working the steps is guided by sponsors from the fellowship. In PHP and IOP, clients can get help finding meetings in the Denver area, where many people meet their first sponsor.
Care runs from medical detox through residential treatment, PHP, IOP and sober living. Our admissions team can talk through your options.
- Alcoholics Anonymous: Questions & Answers on Sponsorship (P-15, PDF)
- Narcotics Anonymous: Sponsorship (IP #11, PDF)
- Psychology of Addictive Behaviors (PMC): Is it beneficial to have an Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor?
- Cochrane: Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) and other 12-step programmes for alcohol use disorder
This article is for general education and doesn't replace an individual medical or clinical evaluation. Everyone's situation is different; a conversation with our team is the fastest way to know what applies to you.
If you or someone you care about is in immediate danger, call 911. For a mental health crisis, call or text 988.