The Wisdom of RULE 62

Rule 62 is a well-known saying in Alcoholics Anonymous: “Don’t take yourself too damn seriously.” It comes from the chapter on Tradition Four in AA’s book Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions¹. In recovery, it’s a reminder to practice humility, laugh at your own mistakes and keep your ego in proportion.

This article explains where Rule 62 comes from, why it matters so much for people recovering from alcoholism and addiction, and how to put it into practice. It’s written from the point of view of one person in long-term recovery.

What is Rule 62 in AA?

Where is Rule 62 in the Big Book? It isn’t in the Big Book itself. The story is told in AA’s Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, in the chapter on Tradition Four.

There are many reasons to love AA and 12-step recovery. For more than 85 years, AA has been a widespread recovery fellowship with millions of members⁷, and it helped save the life of this writer. It also passes on practical wisdom from the “school of hard knocks.”

What’s shared in the rooms of recovery, in the literature and from the mouths of sponsors is real, hard-won experience, not theory or intellectual abstraction.

Among the many slogans and sayings that hold so much wisdom, the one that has always meant the most to me is Rule 62. For those who aren’t familiar with AA’s literature, it is found in the chapter on the Fourth Tradition in Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions. It says simply, “Don’t take yourself too damn seriously”¹.

Let’s examine both the profound wisdom and the realistic perspective of this simple rule.

Where Rule 62 comes from: the Middleton story

Tradition Four says that each AA group should be autonomous, except in matters affecting other groups or AA as a whole. In the book, every group has “the right to be wrong”¹.

To show what that means, the chapter tells the story of an early group in a town it calls Middleton. Its members dreamed of a huge alcoholic center: a club on the first floor, a place to sober people up on the second, and an education project on the third.

Wealthy townspeople funded it, a promoter set up three corporations, and the group adopted 61 rules and regulations to keep everything running¹.

It didn’t work. The project collapsed into confusion. Afterward, the head promoter wrote to AA’s headquarters, admitted he wished he’d listened to AA experience, and printed a small card. The cover read “Middleton Group #1, Rule #62.” Inside was one sentence: “Don’t take yourself too damn seriously”¹.

The book says that even the chief architect, “standing in the ruins of his dream, could laugh at himself—and that is the very acme of humility”¹.

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Alcoholism, addiction and the ego

Many people see alcoholism and addiction as, in part, a disorder of the ego. We have an oversized, overactive ego that creates separation, isolation and discomfort, which we then treat by drinking and using.

One main goal of the ego is to promote a bloated sense of our own importance. Few things oppose the ego’s agenda as directly as laughing at ourselves.

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Humility in 12-step recovery

When we don’t take ourselves so “damn seriously,” we can approach humility. A close look shows that the principle of humility, setting the self aside, underlies all of the Steps and Traditions.

When we can see how small and limited we truly are, it becomes easier to let go of our self-importance. Consider the following:

• Humans are newcomers to this planet. The Earth is about 4.54 billion years old², while human evolution has taken place over roughly 6 million years³. Life on this planet went on just fine (probably better) before we came along, and it will continue just fine after we’re gone.
• We are smaller than tiny. Our home galaxy, the Milky Way, is a spiral galaxy with a disk of stars more than 100,000 light-years across⁴, and it is just one of countless galaxies in the universe.
• We don’t do it alone. However impressed we may be by our own accomplishments, as individuals or as a species, we depend on a host of tiny organisms, the bacteria and other microbes that live in and around us, to survive.
• Our lives are short. Life expectancy at birth in the U.S. is about 79 years⁵. Next to the age of the Earth, we are like brief sparks from a fire.

Why laughing at yourself is a spiritual practice

Beyond these facts, there are other reasons not to take ourselves so seriously:

• It makes us approachable. Self-effacing humor is an endearing quality of humble people. Laughing at ourselves helps those around us feel more comfortable with themselves and their own foibles.
• It may ease stress. When we take ourselves lightly, we’re more apt to smile and laugh. A review of eight studies found that laughter sessions, such as watching a comedy, lowered levels of the stress hormone cortisol by about 32% compared with usual activities⁶. Even a single session made a measurable difference.
• It’s contagious. We’re more approachable when we smile, and more likely to pass positivity on to others. Wearing a smile is one simple way to be of service to the people around us.

Watch an interview with the Dalai Lama and you will see the poster child for what is being discussed here. His warm smile and laughter radiate humility. Even with his lofty title and position, it’s clear he doesn’t take himself too seriously.

It is possible that Rule 62 may be one of the greatest keys to spiritual growth and sobriety.

A simple practice: the mirror exercise

An entertaining and helpful practice is to stand in front of the mirror, look at yourself for just a minute and have a good belly laugh. I challenge anyone to try this for 30 days and not be changed for the better.

Indeed, enlightenment may be nothing more than simply “lightening up”: shedding the heaviness of self-importance, and so becoming “enlightened.” A wonderfully simple concept. Could it be that easy? I think so.

The illusion of the “self”

On a deeper level, let’s look at what this “self” is that we are not going to take too seriously.

Our personal identity, the thing we call “ourselves,” is really a mental construct. Who we think we are is a collection of memories, conditioning and ideas. It is largely defined by our families of origin, our roles, our work and our relationships. As solid as our identities may seem, our “self” is really a product of our thoughts and ideas.

The “self” is, in a sense, a figment of our imagination.

This mental construct is constantly changing. What seems important, or even true, today is quite likely to be revised tomorrow, next month or next year. Our perceptions shift with our experiences over time.

I tend to think of this thing I call “myself” as a solid object, but in reality it is more like a liquid. It is like a stream, where ideas, impressions and feelings fall into the flow, stay for a while, and then either sink to the bottom or wash up on the banks and are gone.

Come on: 2020, the year this was first written, was a tough year for most of us. In hard years it can be difficult to feel good about much at all. Yet by lightening up and becoming less serious, and more playful, we can find relief from the oppressive weight of the daily news.

“Life is too important and precious to be taken seriously.” Although this seems paradoxical, I know that I am much better able to experience joy and be open-hearted in my brief time on this planet when I take myself less seriously.

How to practice Rule 62 in everyday recovery

Rule 62 isn’t only a nice idea. It can be practiced in small, daily ways:

None of this means making light of addiction, which is serious and can be deadly. Rule 62 is about the ego, not the illness. Treat your recovery seriously, and yourself a little more lightly.

The balance: humility and self-care

All this being said, self-care is important. We may not be much, but we are all we have. We may not be much, yet we can make our contribution to the betterment of the world.

It is another paradox that part of self-care is keeping our self-importance in proper perspective. Practice humility. Smile.

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Red Rock Recovery Center’s programming is 12-step based. Meetings are held nearly every day at every level of care and are encouraged but not mandatory. Working the steps is guided by fellowship sponsors, not staff. Alongside the steps, clients have individual therapy at least weekly and group therapy.

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